Well, it's been a couple of years. I've found my way back to this forum, inevitably I suppose. The dreams I've had over the past few weeks and months have mostly been either too nondescript or too non-memorable for me to derive any meaning from them. On another level, I also have had ones too horrific, in that I try to forget them immediately. These ones find me on nights in which i fall asleep in a state of higher sobriety than usual. If i've partaken in drink, I typically fall asleep with ease, and with no dreams. It's nice in a sense, but does not produce the wondrous dream state which I have come to crave recently. Anyway, last night, the night of my 26th birthday, was the first time in a very long time I had a series of dreams which I felt were worth recording in some way. Not only were they incredibly vivid, but they seemed to touch me in a serious manner that was not to be ignored.... They could be seen as standard in that so very many things happened.. so many events and sequences with profound emotional impact on me, but i remember so little of the details. I'm sort of sad about that. But I do remember certain particular instances, and I will cling to those with everything I have. The main instance was a sort of summer camp.. and so many of my family and friends and lovers were there. We were all there in harmony and happiness. It was so beautiful. I experienced none of the usual anxiety or fear that would normally plague that kind of scenario in real life. I only remember one moment vividly, of many moments, that must have been the one meant to be remembered. I was sitting with a crowd of people, and next to me was Courtney, a friend from my youth who i had a big crush on in my adolescence. I was holding hands with her, feeling the warmth and comfort of her being. She was blonde and tall and lovely. All of us were watching Hana preform her song 'Cowgirl Bebop' (This is a real life song btw). Now, it's worth noting that in my dreams, I typically never experience pieces of art in their real life true form. However, this dream sequence was a rare exception. She preformed the song as it was exactly recorded. And I wept, as did Courtney and Hana, as did Hana's father, who oddly was also in attendance. It was truly a beautiful experience for me. I hold it up as one of the most cathartic dream experiences I've had so far. Everything just seemed so meaningful and harmonious. The dream was also punctuated by a murder mystery situation. Initially, I was confident that I knew who the murderer was. And this person was eerily beside me the entire time, and there was certainly some tension between us. However, he was not the murderer. I then thought the murderer may have been me. But then occurred an instance in which I peered through a wall that had been blown through completely, destroyed by some kind of explosive. On the other side, I saw a diminishing flame, it may have been a tiki torch. For some reason, I then knew that I was not the murderer either. His identity was never revealed. All in all, I'm looking forward to recording my dreams again. I don't know why, but it is important to me and my spiritual development. I experienced sleep paralysis upon waking about a week or so ago. It was horrible, being completely paralyzed while a sinister being loomed over me for I don't know how long, and i was unable to move or do anything about it, just cry in fear until i regained control of my body. I hope it never happens again, and I hope intentional dreaming, recording dreams, and perhaps even lucid dreaming, will prevent it.
I'm in a bedroom that I recognize, but it's not mine. I'm sleeping on a bed. The bedroom door flies open and my Mother is standing there with an older man. My Mother then walks out but the man stays. He stares at me. I'm only in my underwear to I hurriedly cover up and ask him politely if he needs something. He then takes a step forward and tells me that he'd like a drink of my water. I hand him the water bottle that I keep next to my bed and he takes a drink. I ask him again if he needs something and he asks me if I have anything to eat. I tell him to hold on and I dig around a bit and pull out a small bag of trail mix. He still wants more so I give him a large amount of Easter candy that I had. He seems happy and walks out of my room. But he doesn't shut the door and he stands there like he's guarding me. I feel uncomfortable and tell him that if he just gives me a few minutes I'll hurry and get ready. He says nothing and still stands by my open door staring at me. A younger man then carefully walks into my room and I can feel that he has something important to say to me but he wont because that man is still watching. So I whisper to the younger man to hurry and close the door. He seems scared and won't close it. Finally I jump up and slam the door closed and lock it. As soon as I lock it, the old man starts banging on the door and trying to open it. I put my weight against the door to keep him out.
I go to my car and find out I'm missing my freaking weapon. In this dream, I have two cars. My current one, and this orange brand new Nissan Z. When I walk outside, the trunk is up and it's gone. I searched all over for it. My brother is asking me what does it look like, and I tell him what it looks like, and specifically say green. http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/image.../aicw-2005.jpg The rifle looked exactly like that. I have no idea why I had Australian weaponry with me, but I knew it was worth at least 1 or 2k. He's trying to chill me out, and I just can't do it. I have in my mind that the Russians have taken it. In my dream there was a DMZ border just south of my house, and it was occupied by Russians. Something was telling me that they stole it, so I was trying to figure out how I could talk to him about getting back. I was thinking about drawing the picture of it and waving it, and saying comrade. I was still thinking about what was the exact rules of the boarder, and did they have a shoot on sight rule, or was there just a certain area people couldn't go to. My brother interrupts my thoughts, and he's like "i'll go out and get a loan and pay for it, in the meantime let's drink some cranberry vodka and it'll okay. I said "not until I find this freaking weapon". "I'm not going to be drinking any vodka". "If I don't find it, the only thing I'm going to do is die". Just then SP kicked in, and it felt like two warm hands wrapping around my throat. I quickly broke out of it, and assumed it was from the feeling of the covers wrapped close to my neck.
Recent Comments
